


Initials on my Soul

by Anna_banana



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Formula 1 drivers - Freeform, M/M, OT3, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-19 08:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15506154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: Told from the 2013 season onwards. Valtteri joins Formula 1 and realises what the initials on his wrist stand for. KR & SV- Kimi Räikkönen and Sebastian Vettel. Somehow things are never as easy as they should be.





	1. 2013

When Valtteri finally became a Formula 1 driver it was as though everything in his life had suddenly clicked in to place. As he glances down he realises with perfect clarity what the initials on his wrist mean. SV and KR are Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Räikkönen. When Valtteri realises this, another realisation fell into place, that the two wouldn’t know that they were meant to be together either. Trios are rare but he understands that with pairs it’s simple enough. One person has the initials on their wrist, the other person is left blank and it's up to the person with the initials to decide who fits both with the letters and with them self. It soon after hits Valtteri that unless he has become a master of wishful thinking or is part of some kind of cruel coincidence, he’s somehow meant to fit himself in with two of the best drivers in the world.

Valtteri had been the test driver for William's for a couple of seasons before he finally got this chance at a seat. He had always watched the other drivers keenly but wasn't particularly close with anyone on the grid. It's impossible to tell which reserve drivers will make it and which won't. With the exception of drivers he'd raced against previously like Daniel Ricciardo he rarely spoke to anyone in F1 as no one wants to get close to a guy that will be gone before anyone remembers his name.

When Valtteri gets his seat in 2013 he frequently watches Seb and Kimi interact, from a distance. He’s surprised how easy it actually is, what with Sebastian driving for Red Bull and Kimi being in the Lotus, but yet again he finds that these things eventually make sense. Apparently the two have always gotten along well and now that they are both champions, their friendship and separation from most of the rest of the paddock makes sense. Although on paper the two seem like opposites they just appear to click with each other in a way few drivers do. When Kimi leaves, part way through the season missing out on the last couple of races Sebastian actually ends up looking strangely lost without him. Despite never having really spoken to him Valtteri is also pretty upset when Kimi leaves. The upside is Heikki is a pretty decent guy and they get to speak a bit more. Heikki tries to speak to Sebastian as well but it looks like the German mostly tries to ignore him. While Valtteri hates to see Seb looking so lost he knows the red bull driver has never been interested in speaking to him before and he certainly won't now, seeing as he would just seem like some downgraded replacement Fin. 

While he didn't expect to get to know some of the drivers particularly well Valtteri still finds himself surprised by how separated he is from most of the grid. Thinking over the season he realises Pastor probably isn't the best person to have as a first team mate. Maldonado seems to have had a fight with almost all of the people on the grid and Valtteri ends up isolated too as a result of it. If things weren't bad enough as it was beginning to do better than Pastor only seems to make it worse, resulting in his isolation even from his team mate. He thinks it might just be worth it though to get that first and final points scoring position at the US grand prix. An 8th place is enough to put him finally on the board and three points ahead of Pastor. If the day wasn't perfect enough already Sebastian coming up and congratulating him after winning the race himself definitely is. 

At the end of the 2013 season Sebastian and red bull racing have won by a more than comfortable margin. Valtteri himself is fairly happy with how the results turned out. He would have liked to be higher up in the points but at least he had bet his teammate. More importantly he was safe for next season with Williams and hoping a Mercedes engine would bring better results. Another bonus was the change that would bring Felipe to the team next year and his race engineer Rob Smedley alongside him. Whilst nervous about how that would go they had all spoken a few times and Valtteri figured things couldn't get much worse for himself team mate wise.

For the end of the season Daniel ends up inviting him out to celebrate. He's pretty sure it's just to act as some sort of a buffer to Jean Eric who hasn't been speaking to Daniel much since his Red Bull announcement but Valtteri doesn't really mind. What he does mind is trying to mediate between Daniel and Sebastian who are acting unbelievably odd around each other. The looks from the other drivers keep getting stranger as Valtteri mostly stares at Seb and is unable to make coherent replies. Luckily most ignore it as being star struck but eventually Daniel drags him away from everyone to spare all the blatant second hand embarrassment. 

"What is it about him?"

Valtteri struggles at that, failing to find a reasonable reply so Daniel tries again.

"So you have his initials then, are you going to tell him?"

There's a pause while Valtteri considers making up a lie but he soon realises there isn't much way to avoid it.

"It's more complicated than that," he says quietly, quickly rolling up his sleeve to show Dan both sets of initials. 

Even when the shirt is rolled back down Dan can't help but stare at the space for a few more moments. Eventually he snaps out of it and pats Valtteri on the back. "Oh, um, yeah. Good luck with that dude, you're going to need it."

As Daniel walks away Valtteri realises just how true that is and for the first time he is glad for the break between the racing seasons.


	2. 2014

Things at first don’t change much in his second year of formula one, he’s still at Williams, and still feels like he’s a world away from the other drivers. When he thinks about it, that doesn’t make any sense at all really seeing as he’s much higher up the drivers' standings, until he remembers the all elusive club he’s not a part of. Felipe is a good friend and teammate, his and Dan’s friendly rivalry continues, even Nico Rosberg begins to take notice of him. Valtteri realises he needs to act or nothing will change between him and the drivers he really cares about. Valtteri finds he’s not really the kind of guy who gets noticed unless he chooses to be.

Unsure how he’s meant to become friends with Seb and Kimi exactly he comes up with an unbelievably stupid plan. Chat to Seb any time they walk past or see each other in the paddock and just ignore Kimi. Accept Nico’s friendship and go out with all the drivers some more even though he would happily stay a thousand miles from Nico and Lewis’s shitshow. Somehow the worst and least thought out plan in the world works. While anytime he’s talking to Seb and sees Kimi looking on he just wants to babble his brains out but knows that it won’t work he needs to stay on plan. He needs to wait until Kimi decides he wants to talk to him which could admittedly take some time. They both tend to be as talkative as a lamppost. 

Normally now when there’s drinks he gets to go to the Kimi & Seb table. It seems the two have decided that Valtteri has spent enough time awkwardly standing around as Nico and Lewis or Felipe and Fernando try and deal with their problems. By this point even if he didn’t like the two and wasn’t so invested in the writing on his wrist he would be relieved. It makes his chest ache to watch them interact with each other. Sebastian’s mixed looks of jealousy and longing give him the resolve to throw himself aside and try and bring the two together. The looks could be because of the red tops Kimi now wears, Fernando or a whole mix of things. Either way Valtteri feels his role here now is to throw the two together. His wrist burns at the thought but he realises it’s probably for the best, thinking about just how perfect the two would be together.

He’s surprised it actually takes Daniel so long to haul him over to talk about it, but then he’s probably pretty distracted by Seb and red bull himself. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with those two.” Dan says, “you getting anywhere with that?”

“No,” he replies, “But I’m hoping those two will soon.”

Dan shakes his head at his friend sensing that any argument against him would be a waste of breath. “Alright let me know if you want to talk or a change of scenery.” Valtteri nods his ascent and takes a glance over at the table before walking towards it. Seeing that the gap between Seb and Kimi has been closed completely he takes a sharp turn and decides to head home for the night.

Managing to get multiple podiums this season there is almost no way to compare it to the last where he only managed the one points finish. Thinking back to the congratulations Seb gave him last year it’s nothing like the celebratory hugs he gets for his results this year. Even the consolatory pats he gets from Kimi after a poor result cannot be compared to anything else and almost make any bad weekends worth it. The worst one however has got to be the Brazilian grand prix.

A loosened seatbelt part way through the race meant he had to try and stay at speed for a lap whilst jostling around and praying not to crash, especially after a good starting position of 4th his race is well and truly ruined. After the race while in his motorhome he is interrupted by a loud and continuous banging on his door. Opening up, all he sees is a blur while Sebastian screeches at him and launches himself at the Fin. After multiple reassurances that it was all fine he eventually manages to speak to the other Fin who is leaning against the door with a surprisingly worried look on his face. Eventually Valtteri notices the other drivers also milling around outside his door and isn’t sure what shocks him the most. Kimi and Sebastian who are now fussing over him like mother hens or that so many others have bothered to check up on him.

As the season continues it seems to cause a push and pull between the three drivers. It’s as though the other two think he’s playing hard to get he muses. The more he draws away from them the more Kimi and Sebastian seem to want to spend time with him. The end of the season approaches and when Nico jokingly invites him to the spa, apparently Seb and Kimi quickly inform him that Valtteri is spending most of the break with them in Switzerland. Seemingly having no option otherwise Valtteri agrees and dreads how he’s going to handle all the time away with them.

Turning it over in his head Valtteri decides he can’t face spending all that time with them both no matter how much he wants to. Feeling like a coward he gets his friend Emilia to phone him and feign a family emergency, meaning he’ll have to stay at home for the duration. Kimi’s stare bores into him, telling him that the older Fin is unconvinced. Despite trying to keep his expected Finish blank face it seems he isn’t a very good actor. Sebastian on the other hand looks worried and manages to wrangle out a promise of spending the following summer break in his hometown of Nastola. Sebastian jokes that Kimi won’t be able to put up with him alone for all that time and Valtteri forces himself to laugh along, unconvinced and certain that the opposite is true. Despite the jokes he makes sure to insist the others don’t change their minds and will still spend time away together.

It’s as though Sebastian and Kimi have forgotten that they are going to be team mates next season, a thought that makes Valtteri’s head spin. They already have constant press and promotion work to do together. Every time they do these things together it’s obvious to anyone watching how close the two are and how well they get on. Yet outside of formula one it’s as though they need him to act as some sort of buffer between them. Any time he ends up in the middle seat with an arm going around his waist or a hand on his arm, all he can see is the two looking over at each other longingly and wishes he has the power to become invisible.

What he doesn’t see is the worried looks that pass between the two when he draws away or the longing looks when he leaves. While the fight continues between Nico and Lewis at Mercedes, he’s grateful for the distance that remaining at Williams provides him. He’s also grateful for how well he and Felipe seem to get on even at the end of the season despite the fact he has finished with more points. Even better is that Felipe seems too wrapped up in Rob and his new team to be able to notice with much detail how Valtteri is doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My laptop is the devil and it hates me but it eventually let me finish this chapter and update.
> 
> I know I said more would happen in this chapter but 2015 has Kimi and Seb as team mates so there's a lot more to come I swear. Hope despite that you're enjoying so far.


	3. 2015

In terms of racing the 2015 season is mostly a blur for Valtteri. With positions ranging from 3rd to 14th it's another year of mixed emotions at the results. It's also exciting with only really the Mercedes and the Ferraris ahead. 

The season doesn't go to the best of starts. A qualification of sixth in Australia is a reasonable result. It's quickly ruined when he is unable to compete due to a back injury. A small consolation comes in the form of Kimi's retirement from the race. They both sit and wait in Valtteri's driver room in the William's motor home. They watch Sebastian come in third place together.

The next race is Malaysia and it's even more of a surprise when Kimi knocks on his door after the race. Rather than going out to celebrate Seb's win, instead he has came here to bemoan their 4th and 5th places before inviting Valtteri out to drinks that night. Stupidly, Valtteri agrees.

As soon as they step into the bar, Valtteri considers how bad of an idea this was. The room is filled with Mercedes and Ferrari guys celebrating. The corner seats are filled with retirees commiserating for their race. Fernando and Jenson look pretty occupied and he's determined to avoid Pastor at all costs. 

With nowhere else to go he and Kimi sit at the bar for the best part of the night. Whilst they both hug Seb in congratulations, they mostly leave him to celebrate with his engineers, a nonsensical jumble of Italian spilling from his lips. 

Eventually, Valtteri and Kimi leave, both holding each other upright as they walk back to the hotel. It's not until they get to the room that Valtteri realises it's Kimi's and not his own. Just as he is about to point this out Kimi closes the door behind him and Valtteri feels lips on his own. Powerless to protest and doubting he would want to at this point Valtteri kisses him back messily. Thoughts of Seb flicker in his mind but all thoughts go out of his head as Kimi pushes him down gently onto the bed.

.............................

Valtteri wakes up groggily. Feeling the weight of an arm round his body and the taste of alcohol in his mouth he looks down suddenly at his wrist. Breathing a sigh of relief at the fabric still covering it tightly he tries to wriggle out of the tight grip pinning him to the bed. Groaning he keeps shuffling on the bed, careful not to wake the person behind him he eventually manages to stand up. Doing so allows him to look at his partner for the first time in the morning. He nearly swears out loud as the memories flood back of his night with the man behind him. He searches the room for his belongings as he tries to debate the pros and cons of whether he should leave or not. Hearing Kimi mumble a name in his sleep Valtteri makes a quick decision and flees the room as soon as he's grabbed everything. 

The next several races Valtteri develops a super power. Avoiding Sebastian and Kimi at any cost. It might not be the most difficult thing to do given the size of the paddock, but it is massively inconvenient if nothing else. Luckily he manages to spend most of his time hiding in either Red Bull or Mercedes where neither of the teams are keen on letting the Ferrari boys in. He doesn't think either Dan or Nico know exactly what's wrong but clearly he has the looks of someone they need to feel sorry for. When Valtteri does need to spend time at his own garage he manages to wrangle access from to Felipe to hide in his drivers room. He tries to avoid that though as Felipe has started asking an increasing number of close hitting questions.

Surprisingly it's Sebastian who manages to get a hold of him just before the summer break. It shouldn't really be considering that Seb is the one who would have absolutely zero clue as to why he's been avoiding them. Sebastian asks him to go out for dinner to catch up and Valtteri reluctantly finds himself accepting. Overall Seb seems completely oblivious. Apologising for being too busy with trying to stay close to the Mercedes to try and find time to spend with him. Valtteri accepts the apology meekly and can't help but to feel guilt roil in his stomach. Moving on they spend most of the time talking about their seasons so far but eventually the conversation shifts again. 

"Valtteri," Seb begins slowly. "I actually have something I've been wanting to talk to you about."

He takes a drink to try and tries his best to swallow the lump in his throat. "What is it?"

Sebastian starts fiddling with his napkin and if possible Valtteri's nerves grow even more.

"The other reason I've not been spending a lot of time with you is because I've been spending a lot of time with Kimi."

Valtteri's mind starts racing with possibilities at this but having no clue where this is going he tries his best to feign ignorance. "Well of course you have," he forces out a laugh, "you're team mates."

"That's not what I meant." Sebastian replies. "I mean, that I've been spending a lot of extra time with him and I really like him you know? More than ever, probably more than I've ever liked anyone." Realising he's about to start babbling about Kimi he slowly trails off. 

"Well that's amazing!" Valtteri tries to feign excitement and happiness for his friend even while his heart breaks in his chest. Seeing the worried look on Seb's face Valtteri tries not to sigh in relief as he gets to wipe the fake smile off his face. "What's the problem then?"

Sebastian glances around the room despite the fact they are in a secluded area and the restaurant is near deserted at this time. "You know he doesn't have a mark, he doesn't even wear anything on his wrist but," he pauses with a sigh, "neither do I."

Valtteri knows he should look far more shocked by this than he does but he figures any advice he gives will be more important than the faux look on his face. Steeling himself to the importance of Seb and Kimi's happiness to him, he tries to think of the best thing to say to bring the two men he loves together. 

"Do you trust me?" He asks Sebastian gently. 

As soon as he sees the quick and confident nod of confirmation he forces himself to continue.

"You might not have said it to me there but you love him, I know you do and I would bet you anything in this world that he feels the same. You can't waste that, not for anyone. Not even someone with some marks on their wrist that may or may not mean you."

Sebastian ponders that for a moment before he simply lights up, looking as happy as Valtteri had ever seen him. 

"You're right!" He exclaims loudly. Seb swoops Valtteri into a hug and kisses his cheek with a loud smack before starting to grab his belongings.

"You're the best Valtteri. I've got to go see him now, I'm going to do it. I'll get this all on my tab here, help yourself to more wine." He's swept into one final strong hug and with that Seb quickly speaks to a waiter before rushing off. 

Valtteri leaves the restaurant soon after. The second he gets outside tears start rolling down his cheeks. 

When they come back from summer break for the end of the season he continues to avoid Sebastian and Kimi. He just about manages to act like their friend of old on nights where all of the drivers are going out together. 

Kimi and Sebastian are more than happy enough with each other to remain oblivious to how he's acting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone :( More to come soon though.


	4. 2016

The 2016 Formula one season can only be described as the year of fighting. Nico and Lewis are fighting for either a 1st or a 4th championship title, the two battling closer than ever before. Another fight however is between Kimi and Sebastian. It's a difficult year for the two of them. Sebastian finds himself frustrated by the performance of the red bulls, particularly that of his old team mate Daniel Ricciardo. Kimi is frustrated by the heavy criticism he is getting from the media. Battles on the track turn into fights about their blank wrists and their relationship at home. The William's team slide much further down the rankings meaning that Valtteri and Felipe have a challenging year.

It's an unusual year to say the least. Even the friendliest of team mates and competitors seem tense and there's an all round strange atmosphere in the paddock. Everyone is keeping mostly to themselves when possible. Thanks to this Valtteri finds it pretty easy to avoid Kimi and Sebastian and any serious conversations with them. He manages to only see the pair for short periods of time and manages well enough with any small talk and race conversation they have. This period of avoidance lasts him all the way to the Canadian Grand Prix. 

Canada is Valtteri's first and to be only podium of the year. At the time it's a huge relief after the disappointment of a 12th at Monaco. He's joined on the podium by an elated Lewis who was the winner of the race and Sebastian who looks fairly relieved at the podium result. Champagne flows and almost in sync Sebastian and Valtteri start drinking theirs while Lewis pours out the drink and begins to spray in celebration.

Eventually the celebrations begin to quiet down and that's when Sebastian is able to invite Valtteri for a drink. As always Valtteri is reluctant to agree but he figures he needs to start chatting to them eventually and supposes the best way to do that would be with a drink. With that thought in mind he agrees and they arrange to meet later on that night, Sebastian all the while insisting that with a 6th place in the race he and Kimi wouldn't be seeing each other until much later on anyway.

By the time Sebastian gets to the bar Valtteri has already had a suitable number of vodkas to deal with whatever conversation they're going to have. Ignoring that fact he gets both Sebastian and himself a couple of beers when the other man sits down. They move over to a booth which allows them to sit in relative privacy and discuss and complain about their seasons so far. By the time they have exhausted that subject the pair have had many more drinks and Sebastian in particular is beginning to seem pretty wobbly. Soon the conversation moves onto Seb bitching about Kimi. Figuring the other man just needs to rant, Valtteri just holds his breath and lets Seb's slew of complaints breeze over him, hoping that his hums of agreement are coming at the right parts. Eventually Sebastian's commentary trails off and Valtteri is able to look up at him again. Before he can even begin to decipher the look in Seb's eye the other man has leaned over and is trying to pull him into an unbelievably sloppy kiss. When Sebastian tries to deepen the kiss Valtteri regains his senses and shoves the German off him. There is a look of surprise on his face and just as Seb is about to start speaking again Valtteri looses it. 

"Seriously Sebastian, you do this to me now?" He begins to yell, the volume of the thumping music around them drowning his voice out completely to anyone else nearby. "The pair of you are so selfish you know this. I'm not just some oh it will do if Seb doesn't like me or some replacement Fin for you to try and have, it's humiliating you both messing with me like that."  
Yet again the other man opens his mouth and is about to respond but Valtteri cuts him off before he is able to say a word. "The two of you are together and that's fine honestly I'm trying to be happy for you both." At this part his voice starts to waver. "I thought you two were at least my friends if I don't get anything else." As soon as all of this has tumbled out, Valtteri stands up and flees from the table. Sebastian slumps down and puts his head between his hands. 

After this debacle Sebastian takes some time for himself. Not speaking to Kimi or anyone else really before the following race in Canada. When everyone begins to arrive in Montreal a couple of weeks after Monaco, Sebastian resolves to talk to Kimi about everything that has happened. If that wasn't the plan already, the glares from several of the other drivers certainly would have left speaking to Kimi about this as his only option. 

Finally he knocks on a hotel room door. Kimi answers, the other man looks reluctant but with a sigh he is let into the room. For the first time in a long time they talk, properly, about everything. Sebastian tells Kimi about what happened in Canada. Kimi tells him all about Malaysia with Valtteri last year. Sebastian talks about how Valtteri is the one that convinced him that they belong together. As they keep talking everything begins to make a lot more sense to the pair. They are finally able to talk about all the fights, about the fact that their blank wrists matter so much because it feels like something is missing. Or as they are beginning to realise, someone is missing. In a way it feels like the air has cleared and they can finally breathe together once again, equally it feels like the void between them is as large as ever. 

They try to speak to Valtteri. A lot. Every race for the rest of the season is spent trying to find a way of talking to him. It's pretty unsuccessful what with Valtteri seeming to have gained a Roblipe pair of guards from the European series of races and onwards. Eventually Valtteri does come up to them but only to say that he just needs some space this year. If they still want to talk then they'll need to wait for him until 2017. Sebastian and Kimi have already decided they're willing to wait as long as it takes.

Nico Rosberg wins the 2016 Formula one Championship. Not long afterwards he tells Valtteri about his plans to retire. It doesn't make much sense to Valtteri, that is until his retirement is announced publicly and Mercedes start bringing him into talks. As soon as he signs on the dotted line Valtteri knows that his life is going to change completely once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you guys :) Things aren't quite sorted out but as most of you know they're getting there eventually. Can't believe that this work is going to be finished pretty soon :o hope your still enjoying the ride with me. If not please be nicer than Valtteri just was to Seb ;)


	5. 2017

Things are completely different in the 2017 season. Valtteri is in Mercedes now alongside Lewis and this time Valtteri is right in the middle of the fight against the Ferrari's. A single year contract and a seat with arguably one of the best all time drivers, Valtteri has more to prove than ever. 

Rather than fighting him, Lewis seems to have adopted him? There's a sense of calm in the big teams as they all seem to be tired of fighting, well apart from the other teams of course. While there seems to be a sense of peace now around Seb, Kimi and Valtteri, they never actually find time to talk, to try and move things forward. Valtteri's media duties have skyrocketed this season and it's a lot for him to get used to. Giving the younger man time before having to speak to them, the older pair are surprised when Daniel comes up to them for a chat about Valtteri.

Sebastian is understandably wary of his old teammate but Daniel gives them no room to escape. 

"So why are you guys messing about with Valtteri again?" The Aussie asks with an unusually serious expression on his face. Sebastian is about to protest vehemently but Kimi's hand on his shoulder stops him.

"What do you mean by that?" The Finn asks back. 

"You two are acting weird with him, fake even," he replies. "It looks to him like you both just want to force him back to the old friendly way of things. You better sort it or else." 

Daniel levels the pair a look before leaving. It's bizarre for them to watch his sunny attitude come back to life as he walks off.

Whilst the two have no idea why Daniel would know about all this they are grateful for the advice and resolve to think about it carefully in their interactions. They can't afford for things to go back the way they were. Both doubt it would be possible even if they wanted it too.

The three manage to share several podiums in 2017. Unfortunately all three of them can't think of a worse time to deal with things than under an alcoholic spray. From past experience they are acutely aware that drunkenly bold is the worst possible time to deal with all of these feelings.

As with every year, it seems that everything comes to a head just before the summer break begins. Sebastian and Kimi manage to grab Valtteri at Hungary before the race to invite him out to Switzerland for the break. The pair are upset but unsurprised when he says no. The real surprise is when he counters with an invite to Nastola. Kimi and Sebastian agree hastily both excited to be visiting Finland in the summer. Sebastian thinks way back to 2014 when he made Valtteri promise they would all go the following summer. It seems like things can never go quite to plan with them. 

Sebastian wins with Kimi in second and Valtteri in third. The three circle around each other until they fall together on the plane. Each sits separately and tries to nap, all sensing that a resolution will finally come when they land.

Eventually they make it to Valtteri's home in Finland. Sebastian sees the sauna and tries not to look too excited. By the shared amused glances between Kimi and Val it hasn't worked in the slightest. All of their bags are just dumped straight in the hall before the three head through to the living room. They all just stand there awkwardly before Valtteri prompts everyone to sit down. They find sitting awkwardly isn't all that much better. 

They all hesitate to speak, as though they all just want to get straight to the easy resolution, the happy ever after. Things aren't quite that simple however and each knows they need to have a big honest conversation before the easy stuff comes to pass.

All of them, even the man himself, is surprised when Kimi is the one to go first. "I kept wondering," he starts, "why you decided to leave that night in Malaysia? I guess I kind of thought I would wake up with you."

It seems like an unusual starting point and yet it isn't really. Malaysia is where things properly began for the three, if admittedly for the worst. Valtteri hesitates before answering, knowing he has to be perfectly honest from now on. 

"I woke up with someone behind me and could barely remember what happened," he begins. "I realised it was you and couldn't decide whether I was meant to leave or not. You said Seb's name in your sleep. I figured that was who you had really wanted and decided to leave before you woke."

Sebastian looks the most shocked by that, thinking back to soon after where he had demanded dating advice from Valtteri. He keeps quiet though as he knows that right now is for sorting things between the two Finns. He watches as Kimi lifts himself up from the armchair he sat himself in and walks over to now sit himself beside Valtteri on his sofa.

"He wasn't the only one that I wanted," Kimi starts slowly, "He was the only thing that was missing at that point in time. I can't lie and say I know what I was dreaming but I do know what I felt, what I feel now."

There's an eerie silence as Kimi finishes his declaration but it doesn't feel that way. Rather it feels like a massive weight is slowly but surely being lifted from the room, allowing them all to exhale in unison. 

The moment of quiet needs to end however and the two Finns glance towards Sebastian prompting him to continue the conversation. 

"I just didn't realise," he says. "I took your advice and got with Kimi. Neither of us said it but we both felt the constant gap between us. It was because you were missing. I was just being selfish trying to get with you without explaining that. " 

"I'm not him." Is Valtteri's sharp reply. There's a flinch at the comment but it is hardly an unfair thing to say by this point.

"Of course not." Seb answers firmly. "You're different, unique, but both of you are perfect. One could never replace the other. I need you both if you'll still have me." The German is whispering, almost reverent by the end. 

Sebastian realises he is sitting awkwardly, cross legged on the floor whilst waiting on a response. When Val taps the other space on the sofa next to himself and Kimi, Seb breathes a sigh of relief before heading over to join them. 

There is more to discuss but eventually they all just get to sit quietly on the sofa, cuddled together and enjoying each other's company. For the first time in years Valtteri gets to sit in just a t-shirt with his arm band finally removed from his wrist. The skin there is impossibly pale. Kimi and Sebastian stare and stroke reverently over the light skin and the dark initials covering it. Every time the area is touched Val shivers slightly, relaxing more into the touch each time. For now they can just enjoy sitting comfortably together, knowing they have the full summer to relax.  
.......................

The break goes quicker than ever before and the three are back to racing before they know it. They even finally get the podium celebrations together they deserve. Whilst no one has the overall Championship win they want it's still a good year and one they will always treasure. Valtteri has proved himself well this year and gets an extension with the Mercedes team for the next year. 

The three prepare to battle yet again in the 2018 season. They know now that whatever happens next year they can all get through it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally happy with this chapter tbh but I couldn't manage anything else with it, sorry :( thank you guys for reading and I hope you enjoyed. If nothing else at least everything is resolved now :) I'm finishing this here just now but we might eventually hear all about 2018 ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not too sure how I feel about this first chapter but I couldn't seem to do much else with it so decided to post anyway. My plan is to go through with these boys until either 2017 or this season. Also I swear they'll interact a lot more in the next chapters and as the years go on :) If you all enjoy, I'm hoping to get this updated pretty soon.


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